Firstly, apologies for not posting for ten days. The last week or so has been an absolute blur of sleepless nights, frustration and tears. In short, I thought I had met the person that I was going to share my life with; the only person I have clicked with on so many levels and who I completely fell for. However, that person has decided that they are not in the right place for a relationship and that they want to go and work abroad, alone.
There’s nothing else I can do but accept this and move on. Of course, that’s not easy and, at the age of 29, this is the first time I have properly had my heart broken. Hence why I have been going over and over conversations and special moments in my head, wondering why this has happened and holding on to hope that he will change his mind.
Enough now. It’s time to take care of myself.
After a week of not eating very much, not sleeping very much and not feeling like doing very much, I am picking myself up and focusing on my future. I think I probably needed that time just to wallow a bit and let myself feel the emotions that had hit me all at once. I guess it was a bit of a shock as well because the news came out of nowhere and his feelings/plans seemingly completely changed within the space of a few weeks.
So, what’s next? I am working as many hours as I can on my copywriting and proofreading freelance job, all the while keeping in mind that I am trying to save as much money as possible to move house and build a life for myself. I am also pursuing other career opportunities within a ten mile radius of Truro, because I am keen to get back into an office environment and be part of a team.
I am going to view a houseshare in just over a week, which I have a really good feeling about. It’s in Perranporth, which is one of my favourite places, and the two other young women living there seem lovely – plus I would be within walking distance of the beach!
All being well, if I can find the right job and the right houseshare, I will be moving within the next month or two. Then I can focus on spending more time with my friends in the Truro area and also meeting new people – friends, because I am not in the right place to date or anything!
I also plan to join some clubs and take up some new hobbies; I think keeping as busy as possible is the way forward. I would like to finally have some surfing lessons and take up yoga and some other activities like Zumba or boxercise. I am also going to look into joining a book club and maybe even a choir.
They say that you can’t rely on anyone but yourself and I’m starting to see some truth in this. That being said, I am so grateful for the support I’ve had from friends and family recently.
Maybe sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can truly move forward. I am ready to take charge and build a life for myself without having to consider anyone else; by the sea, in Cornwall.